September 3, 2012

Let me start with the Friday before Claire was born. I talked a little bit about it in my 38 week post, but it's part of her story so I may repeat myself a little here. I had my last appointment with my OB that afternoon. The plan was to go in Sunday night, September 2nd, to start the induction process. I was just having one last scheduled ultrasound to check on her size, check on my progress, etc. My doctor anticipated that she'd weigh about 8 pounds. The ultrasound tech estimated her weight to be 9 pounds, 9 ounces. Finding this out changed things. My doctor came in and told us we now needed to consider having a c-section. There were several factors to think about. Her size, my frame, the fact I hadn't made any progress, the risk of shoulder dystocia, and the higher risk of infection if I ended up needing a c-section after going through labor. So basically we were looking at a few possibilities: 1. to go ahead with the induction and everything go as planned (my doctor felt there was about a 10-20% chance of the induction being successful), 2. have a scheduled c-section (which is major surgery, so of course there are risks to consider), or 3. be induced and risk shoulder dystocia (5-25% chance) or an emergency c-section after laboring for X number of hours (along with the risks of a c-section and the increased risk of infection. Not to mention how tired I'd be after trying to labor). My doctor recommended having a scheduled c-section. I really trust my OB, she has years of experience and knew my pregnancy, so I really valued her opinion. I always knew a c-section was a possibility, but I really hadn't given it a lot of thought or really knew a lot about them. I wasn't against having one, I just wasn't expecting it. She gave us until the next morning to make a decision. I cried at the appointment. I cried for hours after the appointment. I cried when we got home from dinner that night. This was such a big, unexpected decision we had to make and had to make quickly. J's vote was for the c-section. I was just so unsure. I wanted to make the best decision, the right decision, but with childbirth, there are just so many unknowns and it's really in God's hands. I talked to my friend Lauren who had a c-section, I talked to my parents and sisters and friends, and prayed. A lot. I tried to weigh all of the pros and cons. Part of me wanted to try the induction, just to see if it would work and to say I tried. But then I realized I hadn't been one of those pregnant women who had a strong desire to experience labor. I just wanted to get her here safe, the how had never been too important to me. Just that we both made it through safe and healthy. I then realized what was really important to me- skin to skin and keeping her in the room with us. With a c-section, I would have to give up having my baby handed to me and the immediate skin to skin contact. That was hard. Then I thought, wait, where do they do all the tests, weighing, etc, after a c-section?! I knew after a regular, uneventful delivery, they could do everything in room. Although there was always a chance of neither of these working out even if I had been induced, but if I had to give up both of these up front, it was going to be really hard for me to not try the induction. I called my stepmom to see if she knew (she works in the Womens Health department). I then called L&D (my mom did as well which I didn't know about until later, ha!). I found out that they did some things in the operating room, but others, such as weight, in the nursery. Long story short, my stepmom contacted the head of the department and he assured us they would get an extra nurse, a scale, and whatever else we needed to keep Claire in the operating room with us. I can't even express how happy and grateful I was to hear this (thank you again Sarah D!!)...just made me feel a little high maintenence. Oops ;) Knowing this helped, but I still went to bed that night so unsure. However, when I woke up the next morning, I knew a c-section was the way to go. J and I layed in bed talking about it and decided that's what we would do. Deep down I felt like the odds were against me for a successful induction. I just really didn't feel like my body was ready and the medicications weren't going to get me there. I knew I would rather go in for a c-section than labor and end up having one anyway. More than anything, I wanted to make sure Claire got here healthy and safe. I felt that knowing all we knew beforehand, this was the smartest thing to do. So around 10am, I called my doctor and told her our decision. They had us on the calendar for Monday at 12:30pm. She also had us go in Sunday morning at 8am for one last non-stress test- to make sure both baby and I were well and stable. We went in Sunday and I was so nervous. If things didn't look good, we would have an emergency c-section right away. I prayed everything would go well and that we could have that one last day to just do, or in our case not do, whatever we pleased! They hooked us up and everything looked perfect! (whew!!) I was having contractions, but were irregular, so they weren't concerning. I was also "checked" one last time, no progress, so they sent us on our way. J and I went to Noshville for breakfast and spent the rest of the day at home, just me, J, and Cash, being lazy, cuddling, eating pizza, making sure we had everything we needed for the hospital, and I finally finished Claire's nursery projects- nothing like the last minute ;) I was so grateful to have that day. I soaked up every little movement Claire made and enjoyed that last full day of it being just the two of us, like it had been since January. To my surprise, I was able to sleep pretty well that night. At that point, the reality of it all hadn't hit me yet and really didn't hit me until almost right before I was taken to the operating room! The morning of the 3rd, Labor Day, we got up, got ready, took our last weekly photo and some others by my mom who came over to watch Cash, loaded up the car, and we were off to the hospital!

At this point, I was very calm. I still felt like it wasn't really happening...the fact that we were having a baby was still very surreal! We got to Labor and Delivery, checked in, and waited (I painted my nails- priorities people!). After about 30 minutes, they called us back. We were taken to our room and I changed into my lovely purple, papery gown.

Then it was time to wait...and the parade of medical staff to start coming in going over medical history, risks, asking questions, etc.

First to come in was anesthsia. We discussed my previous back surgeries, side effects of the anesthesia, things like that. When he left, that when the nerves set in. I looked at J and said, "Ok, now I'm nervous". I started getting really hot and nauseous. This was really about to happen in the next couple of hours! I was thinking, I can't do this. We aren't ready. I want to go home! Then the OB resident came in to talk to us, again, about my medical history and the risks of the c-section (he said, well I'm sure you know about the risks- I was like, actually I don't! We just decided to have one 2 days ago and I sure wasn't going to Google it!! Ha!). The OB on call, Dr. Ransom (who, fortunately, we were able to meet a couple of times before and is so sweet), came in to say hi and let us know they had two emergency c-sections going in before us. Not much later, she came back in and said it was time. Talk about a wave of emotions. I was nervous, scared, excited, in disbelief- from "Oh my gosh, we are finally about to meet her and see her sweet face!" to "Wait, are we ready for this?!"- all at once.



J, ready to get this show on the road!



They took me back first to get the anesthesia in place. J couldn't come in until this part was done. I was wheeled in the room at 1:25pm. I got on the operating table and the anesthesia team came in to do my spinal. This was honestly the worst part of the entire experience. First, I have an extra vertabrae in my lower back (lumbar spine- where the needle is inserted). Apparently this makes my spine very tight. Second, due to my two back surgeries, I have scar tissue in my lower back as well. Both of these factors made it very difficult to get the needle in. They had me rolling my back over my belly as much as I possibly could to stretch my spine (but remember how big my belly was at this point!). The nurses and surgical techs were talking to me, trying to distract me...yeah right. I won't go into all the details, but it took a student, a resident, and finally the attending physician to get it in. It was a painful process and something I don't wish to remember! But finally, after about 40ish minutes, they got the needle in and the anesthesia administered. Almost immediately I felt the rush of warmth down my legs they had been telling me about. They quickly laid me down and I couldn't feel a thing below my rib cage. I could feel them moving my legs, such a weird sensation! They got the curtain up and started cleaning and prepping me for the surgery. J was FINALLY allowed in the room. I don't know if I've ever been happier to see him! I started getting pretty shaky and nauseous, so he got there just in time. After that, things started moving pretty fast. I could only feel the pressure of course, but it felt like they were massaging my belly for the longest time. FINALLY I heard the doctor say, "Ok Stephanie, we are about to take the baby out!". I said "Ok...", but was thinking, "It's about time!". The next thing I heard was the doctor say "Hi Claire!" and then, "She has a head full of hair!" :) And someone said "2:33!". There was a lot of suctioning and I was just waiting to hear her cry (again, it felt like the longest time passed before I heard her cry out!) and then I heard this gurgly cry. I had waited so long to hear my baby's little voice (or scream ;) for the first time. That's when the tears started! She was really here. I think I looked over at J and said something like, "Aw! That's really her" 

Claire's first photo

Now, we all know how this little girl was filling up my uterus with her big bladder causing me to have high fluid levels. Well, apparently she was about to fill it up a little more when she was suddenly taken out of her cozy home because she peed all over the operating room floor! Ha!! She was then wiped off, diapered, and swaddled and brought to me. I could not stop staring at her little, sweet, chubby, red face! My first thought was, I can't believe this is our baby! And then I really thought that because she looked nothing like I could have ever imagined- she looked like a little Asian baby!! But she was definitely ours :) And no, I still could not believe that she had just been taken out of my belly. This perfect little girl with big eyes, long fingers and toes, the sweetest little nose. I could go on and on! It still blows my mind how babies grow inside of us and just like that, they are living, breathing humans fully equipped to live on the "outside".

She was then weighed- in the room!- 9 pounds, 2.5 ounces (which they later decided to just say 9lb, 3oz). Dr. Ransom kept saying how glad she was that we chose to have the ultrasound and that it was definitely the best choice for us.

After getting her weight, her blood sugar was checked. It was 38, so one of the nurses immediately brought her to me to begin nursing. I was so grateful she did this rather than giving her formula first. We were able to begin the breastfeeding process even as I was laying on the operating table (of course the nurse was holding her and the positioning was a little awkward, but you do what you have to do!). Her blood sugar was checked a short time later and hadn't gone up any, so she was then given a small amount of formula and sent back to our room with J.

Once I was stitched up, I was moved back to the hospital bed and wheeled back to our room. J and I chose to spend a couple hours alone with Claire before having any visitors. While nurses were coming in and out, to monitor her blood sugars and mine, as well as assisting with breastfeeding, I am so glad we did this and had this bonding time just the three of us.

After a while, they moved us to a post partum room where we would stay for the rest of the time in the hospital. This is all a little blurry to me. All I remember is not being able to feel my legs, being so hot, and extremely thirsty. When they finally brought me ice chips, I inhaled them! I was supposed to take it slow to prevent nausea, but I have seriously never been so thirsty in my whole life! They finally let me have water and it was like the best thing ever :) But anyway. We enjoyed time alone with Claire and then started calling our families telling them they could head up! Since that night is a little bit of a blur, I will the let the photos do the talking.



love



first family photo <3>

  

nothing cuter than sweet new baby feet

the newest "Lovett girl"



my neck was so sore by the time we left the hospital from looking down at our sweet Claire!

think she's loved?? :)



beauty.



sweet, sweet baby

Now I get it when people say children fill a space you never knew was empty. I can't imagine our lives without Claire. I don't know what we did to deserve this amazing child, but I have never felt so grateful in my life. My heart swells with love and joy when I just think about our baby girl. We are beyond blessed to call her ours.

(to keep this post from being way longer than it already is, all about the rest of our stay in the hospital is coming up next!)

One Month

On October 3rd, Claire turned a month old. This has been the fastest month of my life. The first 30 days with her just flew by. She's growing and changing, and while I'm grateful for this, I need her and time to slow down a little bit! We haven't really gotten in a routine quite yet. I'm not sure I can even call this a typical day, but most days look something like this:
-Wake up sometime between 4-7am to nurse (depending on when the previous feeding was- usually around 2-3am)
-Nap until about 9 or 10am when it's time to eat again
-Take Cash out and feed him, nurse, either nap or hang out in the swing or car seat while I quickly get ready
-The afternoon consists of tummy time, singing, talking, hanging out, nursing one or two times, and occasionally napping
-The evening is always different. Daddy J gets home anytime between 5:30-7pm (yay!) and it's usually time for her to eat again around this time. After she eats, she either goes to sleep or is wide awake (starting to see how unpredictable she is??) Some nights we have bathtime, too. J takes over until she's ready to eat again.  - We start making the house darker and creating a more quiet environment. When she's ready to eat, I usually feed her in bed as this usually helps her know it's time to go to sleep.
- Time to nurse between 2-3am
Of course there are lots of diaper changes in there!! She also nurses quite often. I feel like the above doesn't accurately reflect how often she eats...some days it feels like all I do is feed her. She also always sleeps better on days we get out of the house (for doctor appointments, picking up a drink from Sonic, etc- we haven't really gotten OUT yet). I'm giving credit to the car seat/car ride :)
We've basically done whatever feels natural - she sleeps when she sleeps and I feed her on demand. I'm hoping to get on more of a schedule in the next couple of months. I'm looking forward to a more predictable schedule, but that will take some time. Plus, babies are always changing! We have quickly learned that what works one day might not work the next. We're all just learning and adjusting. We'll get there :)

a few hours old





Claire,

This first month with you has been so wonderful. I love spending every moment of every day with you. It's hard for me to remember life before you. It feels like you've always been in our lives. You are such a good, sweet baby (not to mention so pretty and just perfect!). Your daddy and I are some of the rare parents who can say we were not sleep deprived one day in your first month (other than in the hospital, but that wasn't really your fault :). Tired, yes, but so far, not one sleepless night. Or even close to it. (THANK YOU!!) And I try to nap when you nap- I think that's been a lifesaver! We are so, so blessed to have you! You are the best thing that has happened to us. I was one emotional mom for the first week of your life. I could not get over how blessed and lucky we are to have you. I am just in awe of you. It was so hard for me to believe that you were really here and OURS. Every time I did, I started to get that little lump in my throat and tears in my eyes! The little baby who I worried about and prayed for for 34 weeks, not to mention before we even found out about you, was here and so healthy and perfect! Lots of happy tears. I would also get teary eyed when you would cry and we couldn't figure out what was wrong. Just heartbreaking! One day I hope you understand how much we love you and would do anything for you.

This month...
...you got the hiccups for the first time (on the outside) on 9/4, just one day old! And yes, I cried! You had the hiccups all the time while you were growing inside me and those were some of my favorite moments. It was so different to hold your tiny body and feel and hear those same hiccups

...had your first bath at one day old (9/4). Your dad and I both made the trip to the nursery with you (I had to document it of course!). You were not a fan of the sponge bath, but you loved the water running over your head when they washed your hair

...you were born weighing 9lb, 3oz. The next day you were down to 8lb, 11oz. On 9/5, you were down a few more ounces to 8lb, 5oz. It's ok, this is normal. And you've more than made up for it since! ;)

...we came home on Thursday, 9/6, so this was also your first car ride!
...your first appointment with your pediatrician was on a Saturday (9/8) to check on your weight. You weighed 8lb, 4.5oz, and the doctor was very pleased with this!

...we took our first walk around the neighborhood with you the Sunday after you were born, 9/9

...speaking of, you LOVE your car seat! Going on walks and rides in the are two of your favorite things. You love to be on the move! If we are walking and get fussy, I push the stroller in the grass or over some bumps and you are happy as can be :) In the stroller you love listening to me and your dad talk and look up at the trees (but you hate if the sun gets in your eyes!!) You also love staring out the window when we are in the car. But you also like just sitting in your car seat. It has allowed me to take showers when it's just the two of us and for me and your dad to eat dinner while you sit and watch

...the pediatrician's office was the first to call me Claire's mom..."Hi, is this Claire's mom?" Well, yeah, I guess it is :)

...on Friday, 9/14, your umbilical cord stump fell out!! However, we never found it. I changed your diaper once and it was there, the next time...gone! Not sure if it's wedged in the couch or hidden somewhere. Everyone seems to think Cash might have eaten it!!

Cute baby belly button stump free!

...you also cried your first tear on 9/14- break my heart!

...you are one gassy little girl! But we have lots of tricks we try to help push it out. This is one of those things where bicycle legs work one day, but nothing seems to work the next. It's so sad to watch! I'm also trying to figure out if something I'm eating is causing it. Fingers crossed this gets better soon!

...you are so alert! Some days you take multiple naps for several hours at a time, but most days you take a few cat naps and while awake you are wide eyed and looking everywhere (well, mostly at ceilings or anything on the ceiling like fans or lights, walls and light reflecting off the walls, and windows during the day)

...you are very expressive! I think I will have to do a post dedicated to all your funny faces!

two days old

...since your umbilical stump fell out, we were able to give you your first real bath on Monday, 9/17! I don't know if you could decide whether or not you enjoyed it...you definitely don't like the part where we take you out of the water!!And girlfriend, your hair is WILD after a bath!

before bath (sorry, your dad hardly ever wears a shirt around the house!)

...you had your two week follow-up on September 19th. You had a great check up and weighed 9lb, 0.5oz (80th percentile) and were 21 1/2 inches long (90th percentile)
...despite being a little chunk, you are wearing some newborn clothes (honestly, I only bought one NB outfit because I thought there was no way NB would fit you!) and mostly 0-3 month (although the newborn clothes fit you much best, while the 0-3 are loose and long on your arms and legs)

...this first month you slept for, on average, three hour stretches. On October 2nd, you slept for six hours straight!! It was amazing for your mommy. I never imagined how good sleeping five uninterrupted hours could feel. However, this has been the one and only occurrence so far...again, we'll get there! One great thing is that you seem to have had your days and nights figured out from day one- this has been such a wonderful thing and something that I think has helped us get some sleep, even if for only a couple hours at a time ;)

...the last week of month one you started smiling a lot more. You have an adorable open mouthed grin and a sweet little dimple by the right corner of your mouth- I can't get enough of it! I'm convinced it's a real smile and not just a reflex. Also, during one of your middle of the night feedings on September 30th, you gave me a little laugh! I know you were a day shy of being four weeks old, but I swear it was a laugh. And the sweetest, cutest laugh I've ever heard! It literally sounded like "ha, ha, ha" :)

...I try to keep you entertained the best that I can. One favorite activity is singing. Since you've been here, I've realized I don't know many lullabies/nursery rhymes by heart, so "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "You Are My Sunshine" are often on repeat. Oh, and "Jingle Bells", because you don't know it's not Christmastime, right?! ;) You seem to like Jingle Bells the most though. Other times we play a Pandora station and I'll sing along...or make up words when I have no idea what they are ;) This is the face you sometimes give me when I sing. Not so sure, huh? (and yes, hanging in the car seat again!)

...you love to be held. Like, all the time. Especially when you sleep. Of course this is something we will have to work on, and although it might make getting things done really hard, I'm enjoying it for now.

...you also don't really love being on your tummy (unless it's while laying on top of someone), but we work in tummy time when we can. Usually in very short spurts! The places we have the most success are on the changing pad (I try to roll you over to get some time in after most changes) and my chest

...we haven't given you a paci yet, but we will let you suck on our finger to help soothe you. Works every time. I have a feeling you are going to LOVE the paci!

This first month has been busy! I love having you in our lives and can't imagine our lives without you. I'm so grateful God chose us to be your parents. I love you sweet girl!

I'm still alive!

I cannot believe it's OCTOBER! Or that C will be a MONTH old this Wednesday. The time has flown since she got here. I am working on a few posts, they are just taking me a lot longer than they used to! ;) They will be posted in September, so be sure to check them out. Until I get the rest written and posted, here's a sweet photo to hold you over :)

Claire, two days old

That's a Wrap!

We made it!

39 Weeks (or "The Half Day I Was 39 Weeks Pregnant")

Countdown: 0 days! Time to have a baby!! 

 

Ok, technically I was only 39 weeks pregnant for 14 hours and 33 minutes. That's when Claire came into the world :) But I still wanted to post one last picture from that morning to show just exactly how big my belly got! My next post is going to be all about the day Claire was born and the days leading up to it (I know she's what everyone wants to read about anyway ;) It's so weird to look back at this picture. I wasn't really nervous (yet!), I was just ready. It was taken right before we left for the hospital, about five hours before we met our sweet girl and our lives were forever changed.

And the final belly comparison...

W.H.O.A.

She's here!

Claire James was born at 2:33 pm on Monday, September 3rd, weighing 9 pounds, 3 ounces and 19 inches long. She is perfect and healthy with a head full of black hair, the cutest little nose, chubby cheeks, ten sweet fingers and ten tiny toes, and the prettiest little lips! I'm just in love with and in awe of this precious baby girl.

As for her name...we officially decided on her name just a few hours before she was born (we knew her name would be Claire and that's what we would call her, but had the hardest time agreeing whether it would be her first or middle name!). This is where her name name comes from:

Claire- Claire is my middle name and it was also my grandmother's middle name (Bettye Claire)
James- J's full name is James and we have both always liked the name James for a girl

It was really important to me that we use family names and I love that her name is made up of parts of both mine and J's names :)

More about this sweet baby girl coming soon! It's just not as easy to sit down and blog and upload photos as it used to be ;)

38 Weeks

Countdown: ONE WEEK!!!

How far along? 38 weeks...this update is a little bittersweet as 38 weeks is my last full week of being pregnant! I'll get to be 39 weeks and 1 day for a few hours ;) And yes, we'll still take a picture.

Maternity clothes? same as last week- a mix, but definitely needing to wear maternity tops. Belly hangs out of others and that's just not cute! My favorites are the ones with the ruching, just covers better (kind of cups the belly rather than hanging off)
Movement? She moves all the time- feels like she's pushing around trying to make more room! I think she's having herself a little going away party and packing her bags...it's her last night in there! :) She also got the hiccups tonight (Sunday)- might be the last time I feel them before we meet her!
Cravings? Nothing this week other than the usual (SWEETS). We've been eating out a lot the past couple of weeks, so I feel like I've had such a variety of food, I've haven't had time to crave anything!
Anything make you queasy or sick? still just nauseous in the mornings and if I get a little too full
Sleep? other than getting up several times during the night to use the restroom (I think the record was five times), I sleep ok. I've had a couple nights of waking up and not being able to get back to sleep, but luckily only a couple
Best moment this week: Whew- what a week! First of all, my last day at work was Wednesday and I started my maternity leave Thursday. It was really nice to have a couple extra days to myself to work on things and rest and relax before the big day. Friday we had our last appointment and ultrasound- I'll explain more below, but I will say I am so grateful that baby looks so healthy...even if she is a little on the chubby side ;) We also had a nice "last weekend before we become parents!"= had dinner with my dad, stepmom, Laura and Annie; made it to a friend's wedding Saturday; had a good NST Sunday morning at the hospital then spent the day being lazy and doing a few last minute things around the house.
Gender: sweet girl
Labor signs? Having more contractions with pain, but still no consistent pattern
Symptoms? same ole, same ole- tired; swelling- I'm surprised my feet don't burst some days!; losing my breath easily; nausea; the urge to pee constantly...
Belly button in or out? Out! I hope it goes back after...
What I miss: not much...but I feel like I am going to miss being pregnant- being able to protect her, easily provide for her, feeling her move. However, I'm so excited to have her on the "other side" :)
Appointment Updates:  So my appointments this week were anything but uneventful! The NST Tuesday was quick and looked great. Like I said earlier, we went for our last doctor appointment and ultrasound Friday. Baby looked great- heart rate good, breathing and moving like she should be- but she was measuring "off the charts". Her estimated weight was 9lbs, 9oz. Big girl! This was quite a bit larger than we were expecting, so we had to have a big talk with the doctor about what to do- induce vs ultrasound. With her size and my frame, the fact that I haven't made progress so far,  and considering the risks of each scenario (and after a lot of tears on my part), we ultimately decided to have a c-section. I always knew an c-section was a possibility and was never opposed to having one, but it wasn't my first choice and one I had never really thought it through completely. It was also hard to make such a big decision in such a short amount of time, but we feel this is the safest, surest way to get her here. While it's surgery and little riskier for me, I feel like it's the best thing to do for her health and safety.
What I am looking forward to: meeting our baby girl TOMORROW!!
Milestones: It's time to have a baby :)