September 3, 2012

Let me start with the Friday before Claire was born. I talked a little bit about it in my 38 week post, but it's part of her story so I may repeat myself a little here. I had my last appointment with my OB that afternoon. The plan was to go in Sunday night, September 2nd, to start the induction process. I was just having one last scheduled ultrasound to check on her size, check on my progress, etc. My doctor anticipated that she'd weigh about 8 pounds. The ultrasound tech estimated her weight to be 9 pounds, 9 ounces. Finding this out changed things. My doctor came in and told us we now needed to consider having a c-section. There were several factors to think about. Her size, my frame, the fact I hadn't made any progress, the risk of shoulder dystocia, and the higher risk of infection if I ended up needing a c-section after going through labor. So basically we were looking at a few possibilities: 1. to go ahead with the induction and everything go as planned (my doctor felt there was about a 10-20% chance of the induction being successful), 2. have a scheduled c-section (which is major surgery, so of course there are risks to consider), or 3. be induced and risk shoulder dystocia (5-25% chance) or an emergency c-section after laboring for X number of hours (along with the risks of a c-section and the increased risk of infection. Not to mention how tired I'd be after trying to labor). My doctor recommended having a scheduled c-section. I really trust my OB, she has years of experience and knew my pregnancy, so I really valued her opinion. I always knew a c-section was a possibility, but I really hadn't given it a lot of thought or really knew a lot about them. I wasn't against having one, I just wasn't expecting it. She gave us until the next morning to make a decision. I cried at the appointment. I cried for hours after the appointment. I cried when we got home from dinner that night. This was such a big, unexpected decision we had to make and had to make quickly. J's vote was for the c-section. I was just so unsure. I wanted to make the best decision, the right decision, but with childbirth, there are just so many unknowns and it's really in God's hands. I talked to my friend Lauren who had a c-section, I talked to my parents and sisters and friends, and prayed. A lot. I tried to weigh all of the pros and cons. Part of me wanted to try the induction, just to see if it would work and to say I tried. But then I realized I hadn't been one of those pregnant women who had a strong desire to experience labor. I just wanted to get her here safe, the how had never been too important to me. Just that we both made it through safe and healthy. I then realized what was really important to me- skin to skin and keeping her in the room with us. With a c-section, I would have to give up having my baby handed to me and the immediate skin to skin contact. That was hard. Then I thought, wait, where do they do all the tests, weighing, etc, after a c-section?! I knew after a regular, uneventful delivery, they could do everything in room. Although there was always a chance of neither of these working out even if I had been induced, but if I had to give up both of these up front, it was going to be really hard for me to not try the induction. I called my stepmom to see if she knew (she works in the Womens Health department). I then called L&D (my mom did as well which I didn't know about until later, ha!). I found out that they did some things in the operating room, but others, such as weight, in the nursery. Long story short, my stepmom contacted the head of the department and he assured us they would get an extra nurse, a scale, and whatever else we needed to keep Claire in the operating room with us. I can't even express how happy and grateful I was to hear this (thank you again Sarah D!!)...just made me feel a little high maintenence. Oops ;) Knowing this helped, but I still went to bed that night so unsure. However, when I woke up the next morning, I knew a c-section was the way to go. J and I layed in bed talking about it and decided that's what we would do. Deep down I felt like the odds were against me for a successful induction. I just really didn't feel like my body was ready and the medicications weren't going to get me there. I knew I would rather go in for a c-section than labor and end up having one anyway. More than anything, I wanted to make sure Claire got here healthy and safe. I felt that knowing all we knew beforehand, this was the smartest thing to do. So around 10am, I called my doctor and told her our decision. They had us on the calendar for Monday at 12:30pm. She also had us go in Sunday morning at 8am for one last non-stress test- to make sure both baby and I were well and stable. We went in Sunday and I was so nervous. If things didn't look good, we would have an emergency c-section right away. I prayed everything would go well and that we could have that one last day to just do, or in our case not do, whatever we pleased! They hooked us up and everything looked perfect! (whew!!) I was having contractions, but were irregular, so they weren't concerning. I was also "checked" one last time, no progress, so they sent us on our way. J and I went to Noshville for breakfast and spent the rest of the day at home, just me, J, and Cash, being lazy, cuddling, eating pizza, making sure we had everything we needed for the hospital, and I finally finished Claire's nursery projects- nothing like the last minute ;) I was so grateful to have that day. I soaked up every little movement Claire made and enjoyed that last full day of it being just the two of us, like it had been since January. To my surprise, I was able to sleep pretty well that night. At that point, the reality of it all hadn't hit me yet and really didn't hit me until almost right before I was taken to the operating room! The morning of the 3rd, Labor Day, we got up, got ready, took our last weekly photo and some others by my mom who came over to watch Cash, loaded up the car, and we were off to the hospital!

At this point, I was very calm. I still felt like it wasn't really happening...the fact that we were having a baby was still very surreal! We got to Labor and Delivery, checked in, and waited (I painted my nails- priorities people!). After about 30 minutes, they called us back. We were taken to our room and I changed into my lovely purple, papery gown.

Then it was time to wait...and the parade of medical staff to start coming in going over medical history, risks, asking questions, etc.

First to come in was anesthsia. We discussed my previous back surgeries, side effects of the anesthesia, things like that. When he left, that when the nerves set in. I looked at J and said, "Ok, now I'm nervous". I started getting really hot and nauseous. This was really about to happen in the next couple of hours! I was thinking, I can't do this. We aren't ready. I want to go home! Then the OB resident came in to talk to us, again, about my medical history and the risks of the c-section (he said, well I'm sure you know about the risks- I was like, actually I don't! We just decided to have one 2 days ago and I sure wasn't going to Google it!! Ha!). The OB on call, Dr. Ransom (who, fortunately, we were able to meet a couple of times before and is so sweet), came in to say hi and let us know they had two emergency c-sections going in before us. Not much later, she came back in and said it was time. Talk about a wave of emotions. I was nervous, scared, excited, in disbelief- from "Oh my gosh, we are finally about to meet her and see her sweet face!" to "Wait, are we ready for this?!"- all at once.



J, ready to get this show on the road!



They took me back first to get the anesthesia in place. J couldn't come in until this part was done. I was wheeled in the room at 1:25pm. I got on the operating table and the anesthesia team came in to do my spinal. This was honestly the worst part of the entire experience. First, I have an extra vertabrae in my lower back (lumbar spine- where the needle is inserted). Apparently this makes my spine very tight. Second, due to my two back surgeries, I have scar tissue in my lower back as well. Both of these factors made it very difficult to get the needle in. They had me rolling my back over my belly as much as I possibly could to stretch my spine (but remember how big my belly was at this point!). The nurses and surgical techs were talking to me, trying to distract me...yeah right. I won't go into all the details, but it took a student, a resident, and finally the attending physician to get it in. It was a painful process and something I don't wish to remember! But finally, after about 40ish minutes, they got the needle in and the anesthesia administered. Almost immediately I felt the rush of warmth down my legs they had been telling me about. They quickly laid me down and I couldn't feel a thing below my rib cage. I could feel them moving my legs, such a weird sensation! They got the curtain up and started cleaning and prepping me for the surgery. J was FINALLY allowed in the room. I don't know if I've ever been happier to see him! I started getting pretty shaky and nauseous, so he got there just in time. After that, things started moving pretty fast. I could only feel the pressure of course, but it felt like they were massaging my belly for the longest time. FINALLY I heard the doctor say, "Ok Stephanie, we are about to take the baby out!". I said "Ok...", but was thinking, "It's about time!". The next thing I heard was the doctor say "Hi Claire!" and then, "She has a head full of hair!" :) And someone said "2:33!". There was a lot of suctioning and I was just waiting to hear her cry (again, it felt like the longest time passed before I heard her cry out!) and then I heard this gurgly cry. I had waited so long to hear my baby's little voice (or scream ;) for the first time. That's when the tears started! She was really here. I think I looked over at J and said something like, "Aw! That's really her" 

Claire's first photo

Now, we all know how this little girl was filling up my uterus with her big bladder causing me to have high fluid levels. Well, apparently she was about to fill it up a little more when she was suddenly taken out of her cozy home because she peed all over the operating room floor! Ha!! She was then wiped off, diapered, and swaddled and brought to me. I could not stop staring at her little, sweet, chubby, red face! My first thought was, I can't believe this is our baby! And then I really thought that because she looked nothing like I could have ever imagined- she looked like a little Asian baby!! But she was definitely ours :) And no, I still could not believe that she had just been taken out of my belly. This perfect little girl with big eyes, long fingers and toes, the sweetest little nose. I could go on and on! It still blows my mind how babies grow inside of us and just like that, they are living, breathing humans fully equipped to live on the "outside".

She was then weighed- in the room!- 9 pounds, 2.5 ounces (which they later decided to just say 9lb, 3oz). Dr. Ransom kept saying how glad she was that we chose to have the ultrasound and that it was definitely the best choice for us.

After getting her weight, her blood sugar was checked. It was 38, so one of the nurses immediately brought her to me to begin nursing. I was so grateful she did this rather than giving her formula first. We were able to begin the breastfeeding process even as I was laying on the operating table (of course the nurse was holding her and the positioning was a little awkward, but you do what you have to do!). Her blood sugar was checked a short time later and hadn't gone up any, so she was then given a small amount of formula and sent back to our room with J.

Once I was stitched up, I was moved back to the hospital bed and wheeled back to our room. J and I chose to spend a couple hours alone with Claire before having any visitors. While nurses were coming in and out, to monitor her blood sugars and mine, as well as assisting with breastfeeding, I am so glad we did this and had this bonding time just the three of us.

After a while, they moved us to a post partum room where we would stay for the rest of the time in the hospital. This is all a little blurry to me. All I remember is not being able to feel my legs, being so hot, and extremely thirsty. When they finally brought me ice chips, I inhaled them! I was supposed to take it slow to prevent nausea, but I have seriously never been so thirsty in my whole life! They finally let me have water and it was like the best thing ever :) But anyway. We enjoyed time alone with Claire and then started calling our families telling them they could head up! Since that night is a little bit of a blur, I will the let the photos do the talking.



love



first family photo <3>

  

nothing cuter than sweet new baby feet

the newest "Lovett girl"



my neck was so sore by the time we left the hospital from looking down at our sweet Claire!

think she's loved?? :)



beauty.



sweet, sweet baby

Now I get it when people say children fill a space you never knew was empty. I can't imagine our lives without Claire. I don't know what we did to deserve this amazing child, but I have never felt so grateful in my life. My heart swells with love and joy when I just think about our baby girl. We are beyond blessed to call her ours.

(to keep this post from being way longer than it already is, all about the rest of our stay in the hospital is coming up next!)